If a person disclosure something negative about your spouse or even directly approaches and tells you about it, no matter it is a truth or a rumor, the first response for most people is explosively angry: "How could I did not know this?", "I have been cheated all the times." , "How dare he or she did this to me?", "I am the last one to know this." This type of interactions occur frequently in life, such as the most recent evolved event of Arnold Schwarzenegger, Maria Shrive and Mildred Brena. It is Baena who first lets the cat out of the bag. However, when it reached Maria, the volcano erupted. My judgment is that if you behavior like this, ultimately you'll be the loser. If you believe that you spouse loves you, the winning response would be to listen and let the massage dies at your place. If needed, work with your spouse to clarify it in an appropriate setting later. We are humans, no one is perfect!
In most cases, if your spouse loves you and does not want to tell something he or she did, he or she already admit it is not right, keeping it secret means caring. On the contrary, when a third person passes a massage to you about your spouse, the first thing you have to do is to think why this person tells you about it at this time? Does she simply want to pass the information to me (for what?), or try to help me (is it true, and why?), or just want to destroy my relation with my spouse (because of many reasons, such as dislike, hatred, or jealous). The human nature tends to believe things that are not even exist when it involves a man and a woman. When a person says that "I saw your husband was talking closely to a young and attractive girl for a long time somewhere…", an idea of “having an affair” automatically pop up to many people's mind, not to mention about this person's wife.
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